In my former life (a.k.a. before kids), I was substitute teaching one day in a sixth grade classroom in a nice, affluent St. Louis suburb. During the planning period I sat in with the other sixth grade teachers for their team meeting and learned something that shocked me. The teachers found out their sixth graders were having oral sex parties. Not just talking about it. Doing it. 11 and 12 year old children. The teachers were trying to decide how to deal with it. So even before I had earned the title of "mom," I knew that sex education had to take place EARLY and the safest, most reliable place for kids to get it is straight from mom and dad.
A handful of years ago in Christian parenting blog circles, a resource for having "the talk" with your kids was published. But since that was not on my parenting radar screen due to the ages of my kids, I forgot about it. Then a friend told me that they had purchased this resource and took their son through it and it went SO well. I bought a copy for our family and Andrew and I prioritized going through it this last week with both boys. They are 10 and 8, and while it seems early, the book says target age for this is 6 - 10 years old. WHY so early?? Simple really. They are going to learn about sex whether we are ready for them to learn about it or not (re: 6th grade oral sex parties). And we parents need to get first crack at it and put accurate information in their brains before our oversexualized culture can squeeze our voices out.
The book is appropriately titled The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Biblical Sexuality. The forward of the book talks about how to address the "awkwardness" of the whole situation. The author says it's only awkward for the parents because they kids don't know any different and haven't been tainted by the world's misuse of God's gift of sex. It was a little weird for us, yes. But seriously, our boys didn't think anything of it. There were some funny moments and innocent questions that came out of our time together. But it's a relief to know that our boys are informed and educated, and that they are comfortable talking about all this with us. We pray for these doors to remain open as they get older. Find The Talk here on Amazon!
The seven lessons are broken down into these topics: anatomy/physiology, sex (specifically, the mechanics of baby making), fetal development, sex (specifically, for relationship building and not necessarily to make a baby), adultery, abuse, and being bought with a price (purity without using the word purity). I really like that it's broken down because it takes pressure off of one big talk. The book is very well scripted so you could read straight from it you want to. And you can always combine a couple lessons if it works for your family.
I know it's tempting for Dad to talk to the sons and Mom to talk to the daughters, but can I suggest both Dad and Mom go in on this together? That way all kids know they can go to either parent and it won't have to be awkward or weird.
I noticed the author also came out with subsequent books about puberty and relationships. We look forward to utilizing those when the time comes.
Our culture is waging a war on our children and it's our job as parents to educate them and prepare them for the world they will be entering as they get older. Don't miss your opportunity with this one. Don't let someone else do this job for you. It's too important.
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