God loves to use the elementary Sunday School class I co-teach to teach me (remember last year and the Great Commission?). I'm constantly humbled as these 4th, 2nd, and 1st graders dig into the Word with Jodi and me and remember everything they've ever learned about Scripture and memorize everything easily and ask the best questions. Faith like a child... man, it's the realest.
No believer is perfect, of course, and we all have faults. Of my own many faults, the one most stifling is a tendency to forget everything I have learned in the last 16 years of following the Lord Jesus and freak out. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. And I become like the wandering Israelites we read about in Deuteronomy this morning.
Throughout the entire Old Testament those ancient Israelites were forgetters. They regularly forgot the miraculous ways God lead and provided for them over the years. From my new-covenant-15-Bibles-in-my-house vantage point, I scoff. I say "You dumb Israelites. Don't you even remember what God did in such big, big ways?"
But I forget. I've been in a place lately that is full of forgetfulness. I forget God's promises from His Word, and I forget what He's done in my life. I forget (or willfully neglect) to go first to His Word or turn to Him in prayer. And I suffer just like those Israelites did.
In the spirit of transparency and truthfulness, I realized today I've been operating out of fear for awhile now. And that's really dumb, because when I think to all the big, big ways God has moved in my life in the last 16 years, I just have to shake my head. For instance:
1998: He sent my best friend Michelle to a Christian college where she met Jesus, then she prayed for me and shared her newfound faith.
1999: I was "randomly assigned" a dorm roommate who loved the Lord and lived a life of joyful obedience.
2000: As a result of best friend's and roommate's influences in my life, I accepted Christ.
2001-2003: I became the very best of friends with the man who would one day marry me.
2003: God spoke to me one morning in March and told me that my best guy friend Andrew, who I crushed on for years, would be mine. Sure enough, later that night, he invited me to go home with him to celebrate his birthday with his family. He kissed me on his birthday.
2003: I was a college graduate without a job. I came home in tears to find the apartment complex's handyman in my apartment doing repair work. He was older and instantly turned on his inner father-figure and rescued me. Literally. I told him my story and he immediately called his good friend who "just so happened" to be a high-up in the local school district. I was subbing regularly within a week. That man had a lil Jesus fish on his car. I'll never forget him or that day.
2004: Andrew and I married. In the last almost 12 years of our marriage, there have been so many accounts of God's provision for us. Like the old, breaking-down car that got hit in the school parking lot and we were able to replace with insurance money and no cost to us. And that time a kind gentleman "just so happened" to have a spare, brand new fridge he wanted to give us, and it was delivered the same day ours quit. Oh, and it was the exact same make and model. How does that even happen? And the time our friends' wedding musicians had to cancel at the very last minute and they called us the night before the wedding to play. And what they paid us is exactly what the A/C repairman needed the next week for fixing our broken unit.
I hope you realize this blog post is actually a self-directed sermon. I understand more than ever the reason so many Old Testament prayers began with the recollection of what God had done in Jewish history. They desperately needed the reminders. Maybe I need to take this list of Big God Moments and pray them back at him.
This wandering Israelite needs to remind herself not to worry, not to fear. To instead cling to and remember and trust. He hasn't failed me and He never ever will.
Oh, and this list of verses to combat fear and anxiety "just so happened" to land in my inbox tonight. http://heidistjohn.com/encouragement/grace-for-the-anxious-mama-free-printable
"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" -- Mark 9:24
No believer is perfect, of course, and we all have faults. Of my own many faults, the one most stifling is a tendency to forget everything I have learned in the last 16 years of following the Lord Jesus and freak out. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. And I become like the wandering Israelites we read about in Deuteronomy this morning.
Throughout the entire Old Testament those ancient Israelites were forgetters. They regularly forgot the miraculous ways God lead and provided for them over the years. From my new-covenant-15-Bibles-in-my-house vantage point, I scoff. I say "You dumb Israelites. Don't you even remember what God did in such big, big ways?"
But I forget. I've been in a place lately that is full of forgetfulness. I forget God's promises from His Word, and I forget what He's done in my life. I forget (or willfully neglect) to go first to His Word or turn to Him in prayer. And I suffer just like those Israelites did.
In the spirit of transparency and truthfulness, I realized today I've been operating out of fear for awhile now. And that's really dumb, because when I think to all the big, big ways God has moved in my life in the last 16 years, I just have to shake my head. For instance:
1998: He sent my best friend Michelle to a Christian college where she met Jesus, then she prayed for me and shared her newfound faith.
1999: I was "randomly assigned" a dorm roommate who loved the Lord and lived a life of joyful obedience.
2000: As a result of best friend's and roommate's influences in my life, I accepted Christ.
2001-2003: I became the very best of friends with the man who would one day marry me.
2003: God spoke to me one morning in March and told me that my best guy friend Andrew, who I crushed on for years, would be mine. Sure enough, later that night, he invited me to go home with him to celebrate his birthday with his family. He kissed me on his birthday.
2003: I was a college graduate without a job. I came home in tears to find the apartment complex's handyman in my apartment doing repair work. He was older and instantly turned on his inner father-figure and rescued me. Literally. I told him my story and he immediately called his good friend who "just so happened" to be a high-up in the local school district. I was subbing regularly within a week. That man had a lil Jesus fish on his car. I'll never forget him or that day.
2004: Andrew and I married. In the last almost 12 years of our marriage, there have been so many accounts of God's provision for us. Like the old, breaking-down car that got hit in the school parking lot and we were able to replace with insurance money and no cost to us. And that time a kind gentleman "just so happened" to have a spare, brand new fridge he wanted to give us, and it was delivered the same day ours quit. Oh, and it was the exact same make and model. How does that even happen? And the time our friends' wedding musicians had to cancel at the very last minute and they called us the night before the wedding to play. And what they paid us is exactly what the A/C repairman needed the next week for fixing our broken unit.
I hope you realize this blog post is actually a self-directed sermon. I understand more than ever the reason so many Old Testament prayers began with the recollection of what God had done in Jewish history. They desperately needed the reminders. Maybe I need to take this list of Big God Moments and pray them back at him.
This wandering Israelite needs to remind herself not to worry, not to fear. To instead cling to and remember and trust. He hasn't failed me and He never ever will.
Oh, and this list of verses to combat fear and anxiety "just so happened" to land in my inbox tonight. http://heidistjohn.com/encouragement/grace-for-the-anxious-mama-free-printable
"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" -- Mark 9:24
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